Professors Call for Reinstatement of COVID-19 Protocols
Last March, Texas A&M University announced that all classes would be in-person for the fall semester. The announcement was largely met with celebration, marking a return to normalcy for the university. After the first week of classes, however, faculty are calling for a reinstatement of last year’s COVID-19 protocols after facing the crowds of wild students stampeding through campus.
“The landscape has been trampled, there are bikes in every other tree, and I can’t even hear my own voice when I lecture because there are at least a dozen students talking at any given time,” said Dr. Sarita Lampur. Dr. Lampur teaches a graduate-level physics course with a class size of eight people.
Some faculty members are calling for a return to spring semester COVID-19 protocols, as they believe the administration was too hasty in recalling these measures. This would entail Zoom classes from remote locations, limited office hours, and the lack of obligation to see students face-to-face.
“When we decided to have fall classes in-person last March, we felt that students should return to campus and have the chance to experience learning at one of the best universities in person,” said John Waternoose, Texas A&M professor and member of the COVID-19 task force that was assembled in 2020.
Professor Waternoose was initially a proponent of the push for in-person classes but is now leading the charge to reverse the decision, saying, “I thought it would be less work for us, but I forgot what a bummer these little assholes are.”
Other members of the committee admitted privately their disappointment in not being able to chill and kick it for a semester.
— Walton, Texas Ranger
Coming from a long line of beef cattle barons, Walton, Texas Ranger knows his way around a slab of meat. You can usually find him at Rosenthal in between the tenderloin and beef shoulder. He’s the envy of every man on the Aggie Barbecue team and the apple of every horse girl’s eye and, honestly, we can’t blame them.