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Mandatory COVID-19 Testing Victimizes Sufferers of Chronic Dry Mouth

By Soiled Science , in Campus Life , at September 7, 2021 Tags: , , , ,

Recent mandatory COVID-19 testing has reportedly left many students with dry mouth feeling victimized by the Texas A&M saliva PCR test or “spit” test. Unlike the swab test performed at Curative testing kiosks, the spit test requires a 1.5mL sample of saliva and more than 10 minutes of active drooling into a test tube. Dry-mouthed students hoping to participate in this new form of mandated selfless service are not allowed to drink at all for at least 20 minutes prior to submitting a sample.

After underreporting risky behavior on the pre-test survey, students are able to choose from a variety of on-campus COVID-19 testing locations. Those wishing to avoid the long wait times at the Curative kiosks will find themselves subjected to the Texas A&M spit test. Upon arrival at one of the main spit test centers, testers receive a single paper towel and a collection tube with instructions to maintain appropriate social distancing while salivating.

Students suffering from chronic or intermittent dry mouth were reportedly harassed by overzealous volunteers gatekeeping the sample collection bin. When these students finally managed to produce a sizable glob of spittle, many struggled to deposit it into the tube and found it mortifyingly dribbling down their chins instead. Those who attempted to submit their samples prematurely were sent back to continue filling their tube, leaving many tongues completely devoid of moisture.

The humiliating process has caused some students to swear off COVID-19 testing for the remainder of the pandemic, preferring to live in blissful ignorance and university sanctions rather than endure the Texas A&M spit test again.

 

— Soiled Science