Corps of Cadets Unveils Alternate Rainy Day Uniform

Following recent rain storms, the Office of the Commandant was reportedly flooded with complaints from rain-soaked cadets. To address these complaints, the Corps of Cadets has released an alternate rainy day uniform option.

“We often try to further the suffering of cadets in the interest of character building,” said General Ramirez, Commandant of the Corps. “However, we have found that consistently subjecting cadets to spending hours in wet socks is decreasing morale.” As a result, the Corps has rolled out a new “rainy day” uniform complete with khaki sandals and a poncho.

The Corps designed these new uniforms with their members’ comfort in mind. “The sandals are a game-changer when it comes to walking through the campus puddles,” sophomore cadet Ryan Dagner said. “Just think of how much better we look when not confined to those ugly black shoes.” Reports indicate a new group of “Chaco chasers” has emerged in full support of the uniform changes.

Seniors will also have the option to trade in their boots for a pair of tall brown rain boots. Although similar in appearance, the rubber insulation will keep cadets’ feet dry while allowing them to continue showing off their externalized superiority.

Complete with the full decorations of their everyday uniforms, these options add an extra layer of khaki to make sure that rain or shine, everyone can tell that each cadet is a member of the largest, oldest, and most visible student organization at Texas A&M University.

— Hannibal Lechner