Thursday, November 21, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


How to Get That Indie Aggie to Like You

By Haudi Arabia , in Clickbait , at March 26, 2021 Tags: , , , ,

Looking for a quirky cutie to spice up your love life this spring? The Mugdown has compiled a comprehensive list of questions you need to ask yourself if you want to get that niche indie Aggie to like you:

Do you study at a coffee shop?

No? You do now. Sit down. Don’t order a coffee and don’t study because you’re going to be spending the next 3 hours staring at everyone who walks in.

What are you wearing right now?

If it doesn’t look like the perfect outfit to gentrify a neighborhood, then you’re going about it all wrong. You gotta think like an indie Aggie if you want to catch one, so you should at least look the part. Throw on your best A24 graphic tee and get out there, kiddo.

Do you critically review the music choices of your closest friends?

No? This needs to start ASAP. Work on the tone of your voice and the inflection when telling them that you stopped listening to THAT band in high school. For practice, repeat these phrases in the mirror: “you’ve probably never heard of them” and “I used to like them before they got big.”

Do you own at least one flat brim hat with a shoestring on the front?

If you haven’t figured out how to turn cowboy fashion into an indie statement, you might as well give up now.

 

Ask yourself these questions every day, and you’ll have that indie Aggie’s heart by the end of the semester!

 

— Haudi Arabia