Do You Prefer Layne’s Over Cane’s, or Are You a Loser?

1. Which do you prefer: Layne’s or Cane’s?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

2. It’s midnight. Which drive-thru do you and your girlfriend, Beth, go to?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

3. After a crazy night on Northgate, you wake up in a parking lot extremely hungry and hungover. You have 16 missed calls from Beth. Which parking lot is it?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

4. You’re sobbing in the bathroom after your breakup. Beth says she doesn’t see a future with someone who lacks ambition. Which fried chicken restaurant chain do you go to for emotional support?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

5. You’re on death row. After 12 years, your last appeal is declined. You are the last person to receive the death penalty before upcoming legal reform goes into effect. Beth still doesn’t answer your letters. What’s your last meal request?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

6. Anyways, which one do you prefer again?

A. Layne’s

B. Cane’s

If you selected A throughout the entire questionnaire, congratulations! You’re a redass, normal student. Thanks for being a part of our university!

If you selected B even once, you suck. Congrats on being a 2%er and a loser. Why don’t you transfer to t.u. already? This is probably why Beth left you.

 

— Century Tree Hugger & Anime Sciences