Century Tree More Influential Than Previously Thought
According to recent testimonies by former Texas A&M students, it appears that couples that have walked under the Century Tree together are getting their one hundred years whether they want to or not.
The ritual of walking with another person under the Century Tree seems to have unnaturally extended the lifetime of the participants. While some may not think much of it when walking under the Century Tree with their sweetheart for the first time, one hundred years is a long time. “I was 21 when I walked under the tree branch with Jesper for the first time,” said Elaine Milton, spouse of Jesper Milton, a Texas A&M alum. “I’m now 107. Everything hurts! Do you think I wanted to live long enough to see veganism become a thing?”
This trend isn’t exclusive to romantic couples either. Those who wandered under the so-called “friendship branch” also report having experienced similar symptoms. Some couples have tried separating only to find that they were unable to, citing an indescribable force pulling them together whenever thoughts of separation started to form. This phenomenon has been named Century Tree Syndrome, and students are encouraged to thoughtfully consider their partner before walking down that concrete aisle because they may just end up stuck with them.
— Weeb King Gill
After giving it his best effort, Coach Dana X Bible called Weeb King Gill down from her throne as the president of the Aggie Anime Club to help Texas A&M pull off the impossible: finishing One Piece. Weeb King Gill proudly took up the mantle, and, clutching her dakimakura, carved out her place in Texas A&M history. Because of her heroism in our university’s darkest hour, Texas A&M is now known as the Home of the 12th One Punch Man.