Student on Break Still Gets Anxious at 11:59
This week, sophomore economics major Marcus Atherton announced he still feels a vague and unplaceable sense of anxiety at 11:59 p.m. every weeknight, despite having finished his last final exam over a month ago.
Atherton stayed at home for the winter break with no actual responsibilities or academic obligations, but he hasn’t stopped breaking into a cold sweat as midnight approaches.
“He keeps having bad dreams, always talking in his sleep about needing to ‘borrow someone’s Chegg real quick,’” said his mother, Ana Atherton. “I didn’t even know what that meant. I thought he was looking for drugs.”
Atherton claims to still hear alerts from Canvas almost every day, only to find no notifications on his phone. “I’m sure the anxiety will fade away,” Atherton said. “I usually get used to the schedule of the break a few days before the spring semester starts.”
— Aggie Faceplant
Ahhhh, a breath of stale College Station air thanks to yours truly. Environmentally conscious and clumsy at their core, Aggie FacePlant lives for the outdoors. Her leaves are full of secrets and her roots run deep throughout Texas A&M. She hides in camouflage but is always growing up something good. Is that poison ivy or cannabis? If Aggie FacePlant has anything to do with it, it’s probably both. Global warming is the least of your problems when Aggie Facplant is around.