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Kinky Professor Edges Student’s Grade

By I Took a Pill in Sbisa , in Campus Life , at December 9, 2020 Tags: , , , ,

Yesterday, Texas A&M student Paul Romano came forward with the allegation that one of his professors partakes in grade edging, a kink in which educational professionals derive pleasure from keeping students on the cusp of the next best grade. Romano is now asking university administration to re-evaluate the class’s grades and terminate the professor, Jeremy Kochley, immediately.

Romano’s suspicions about Kochley arose while taking ENGL 369 with the professor. According to Romano, his grade sat between an 89 and a 90 throughout the entirety of the semester. “At first, I thought Professor Kochley had a personal vendetta against me,” Romano said. “But when I started asking people about their grades in the class group chat, a pattern started to appear.”

Romano discovered that almost every student in the class was at most half a point away from the next highest grade. Upon further investigation, Romano found dozens of similar reports from students from all around the country. These reports led him to discover Edge-ucation, the online forum for professors with this kink.

“These depraved professors get their rocks off by playing god with our grades,” Romano said. “Their favorite part of the semester is when the students come begging them to round it up a fraction of a point.”

Romano has turned the evidence over to the Dean of Liberal Arts. There is still no word as to how the situation will be handled.

 

— I Took a Pill in Sbisa