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President Young Forms Task Force to Choose a Balanced Breakfast

By Anime Sciences , in Local News , at October 21, 2020 Tags: , , , , , ,

This article originally appeared in The Mugdown’s Fall 2020 print edition. To view a digital copy of the print edition, click here.

Earlier this week, President Michael K. Young announced in a campus-wide email that he plans to form a task force to decide which cereal he will have for breakfast each day. In his email, President Young clarified that his decision came after meeting with the appropriate representatives.

“Earlier today, I met with Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and Count Chocula to discuss the importance of a balanced breakfast,” Young said. “We discussed how I can best obtain ten or more vitamins and minerals while still enjoying my breakfast every day. Effective immediately, I am announcing the creation of a task force on breakfast cereals. In addition, I am forming a commission on cartoons. This group will make informed recommendations every day so I know what to watch in tandem with my meal.”

It is expected that the task force will decide which milk he should choose to accommodate the caloric deficits or surpluses he might have eaten the previous day.

“I am looking forward to what they decide,” President Young said in a press release. “They expect to report back in three to four months. In the meantime, I won’t be able to make any changes to my diet whatsoever.”

President Young proceeded to thank the task force and commission as he would not have been able to make the decisions on his own.

 

— Anime Sciences