Bootchasers to Be Recognized for Service to University
This past Thursday, Texas A&M University and the Corps of Cadets announced plans to honor formally all bootchasers past, present, and future for their unwavering dedication to serving the students of the university. A plaque of meritorious service will be installed on Military Walk directly across from the statue of James Earl Rudder, and a new statue will be commissioned to replace the Lieutenant General James F. Hollingsworth “Danger 79er” statue on the Quad.
The motion to honor the bootchasers was introduced by Tyler Korara, the current Corps Commander. “Without the hard work and commitment to incredible, almost stalker-like support of the members of this organization, we would not be where we are today,” Korara said. “I remember my first bootchaser back when I was just a fish. Even though I don’t remember her name or any defining personality traits, it was thanks to her that I found the motivation to put forth the bare minimum amount of effort required to impress the Corps’ biggest fans. It seems only right that they should be honored.”
It has been reported that the statue is modeled after a member of the prolific bootchaser training force following Squadron 17. The plaque will feature the famous quote “Nevertheless, She Persisted,” as voted on by the current bootchasers of the university to best represent their mission, goals, and dedication to their cause. It will also feature a photograph of the most successful bootchaser in history. Lauren Beecham, class of 2019, logged more than 20,000 hours of interaction with members of the Corps of Cadets during her tour of service.
“I can’t believe it took them this long to finally recognize how much work we have to do to give these boys the attention they deserve,” said Caroline Rusink, the current president of the Squadron 17 bootchaser training force. “I literally switched my dorm from Hullabaloo to Underwood my freshman year just so I could be right next to the Quad. I even went out with like, four fish last fall in the hope that their upperclassmen would notice me, and I’m happy to report that those fish are all being considered for guidon in their outfits. Without us, the Corps would be nothing.”
— Flash it Back, Ags
You may have seen her skulking around campus in a beige trenchcoat, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal her ass to unsuspecting students. An exhibitionist at heart, she’s been arrested for streaking fifteen times since 2012. UPD is aware of her presence and is doing their best to keep her away from sporting events, graduations, and the background of promotional materials. You can often find her doing squats at the Rec. If you ask politely, she might just show you her assets.