‘The Corps Makes Leaders’ Boasts Guy Who Pisses in a Sink
After pissing in his sink, shaking twice, and foregoing any form of sanitation, sophomore cadet Pablo Wynn explained to his friend Harrison Ashton via text that the Corps of Cadets develops college students into future leaders.
Earlier that day, Wynn and Ashton got into an argument regarding benefits exclusive to students in the Corps. Ashton, a staff leader in a Sophomore Leadership Organization (SLO), argued that students can gain leadership experience no matter the organization they join as long as they push themselves out of their comfort zone.
Wynn, however, asserted that the Corps gives students vital experiences they couldn’t get elsewhere. “Thanks to the Corps, I’ve directed dozens of events for the benefit of my outfit,” Wynn said. “What other organization lacks the administrative oversight to let students use hundreds of beds to hold mattress fights?”
After agreeing to disagree, Ashton coordinated a profit share for his SLO to raise money for Brazos Valley Food Bank while Wynn spearheaded an outfit-wide chair jousting tournament.
— Anime Sciences
Treading silently through the Kleberg Center amongst the yeeyees and horse girls, we find Anime Sciences making his way to class with his head bowed. An inattentive freshmen accidentally walks into him, and suddenly the crowded hallway goes hush. A mind-bendingly long series of close-ups, confused grunts, and angry growls signals the triggering of Anime Sciences’ wrath as he unsheathes his katana from its holster. Uttering a rapid flurry of insults in English that somehow don’t match the movement of his lips, he challenges the freshman to either flee or face certain death. The fish scampers off. Order is restored in West Campus.