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Ghost in Dorm Not Bad at Business Calculus

By Haudi Arabia , in Campus Life , at September 10, 2020 Tags: , , , , ,

Last Friday, freshman residents in Dunn Hall reported various accounts of hauntings on the part of a local ghost. Reports articulate multiple instances of ghost intervention in student affairs in which the spirit of the dead assisted those on the verge of a mental breakdown by writing out solutions to MATH 142 equations on the dorm walls instead of issuing vile threats.

Tired of school being the main cause of fear and stress to students, the unidentifiable ghost recognized the signs of a potential panic attack and used supernatural abilities to solve the most troublesome of problems.

Jacob Swan, a Dunn Hall resident, realized that he and his roommate were not alone in their dorm room when Swan noticed their bathroom mirror, fogged after a recent shower, was covered in answers to his calculus homework.

The shower was not the last of the ghost’s antics; Swan later reported blood dripping down the wall to reveal the worked out proof to question 14 of his chemistry homework. Swan hopes to reach out to the ghost in hopes of inspiring a relationship in which he may capitalize upon the haunting situation.

The ghost is predicted to return to normal behavior of drastically changing room temperatures, watching students sleep, and slamming hall doors before the end of the semester.

 

— Haudi Arabia