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New Roommates Weird and Old

By Ring Chunks , in Local News , at April 29, 2020 Tags: , , , ,

Due to COVID-19 and the suspension of in-person classes for the spring 2020 semester, many students have moved back home with their families indefinitely. Joe McConnell, a freshman English major, has reported that his new roommates are kind of weird and old.

Joe’s new roommates, Beth and Steve McConnell, have been married for 19 years and are in their late fifties. On their roommate selection form, they have described themselves as “fun and chill,” “not okay with drugs and alcohol,” “morning birds,” “neat freaks,” and having “traditional values.”

“They’re freaks. I’m telling you — they have a single glass of wine with dinner and then switch to water,” McConnell said. “I used to try to be considerate when my roommate wanted me out of the dorm so he could have sex, but now it just feels weird when my dad asks me to leave.”

McConnell has announced his plans to communicate better with his new roommates and to loop Grandma in for conflict resolution if any further issues arise.


— Ring Chunks