CAPS To Offer ‘SIMPs Anonymous’ Group Therapy
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) announced Saturday that they will begin offering a bi-monthly therapy group for Aggies who feel they have fallen victim to women’s manipulation. The new “SIMPs Anonymous” program will help members build self-confidence and work through dependency issues.
As an institution built upon the idea of helping Aggies deal with potentially painful or taboo issues, CAPS is very excited to offer this new seminar. The program has also garnered a significant amount of controversy from the student body. “I’ve only been able to talk with a CAPS counselor about the passing of my mother once a month,” said sophomore economics major Greg Martindale. “There are already precious few employees in the department, so I’m a little confused about their priorities.”
“The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem,” said CAPS counselor Morton Newcamp. “If students can see that they have peers going through the same struggle as them, then it makes overcoming these issues that much easier.”
The inaugural group is set to meet at the start of next month and will be open to the first 15 students who sign up.
— Kushing Library
Don’t get the wrong impression, Kushing Library is a hard worker, but when he heard the university libraries don’t drug test their interns, it was love at first light. If you’re the studious type, you can occasionally hear the soft crackle of his dab pen from deep within the A&M archives. Get to know him, and he might even share Arya Stark’s Catspaw dagger that he hollowed out into his own personal pipe.