Transportation Services Announces 200 Percent Improvement in On-Time Routes
Last week, Transportation Services announced their route efficiencies have improved by 200 percent, as no buses were reported late to any stops. This improvement is said to have been significantly influenced by the ongoing regulations due to the spread of COVID-19.
This was a monumental milestone for Transportation Services due to the growing need for maintaining a reliable bus system. Directors have been puzzled for months on how to adapt campus transit to the growth of the university. Fortunately, this drastic change has brought a solution directly to them.
Perhaps the most significant change with these regulations is the decrease in student population due to the university moving to online classes. With the majority of students living back home and not requiring the use of Transportation Services, productivity numbers have been breaking all previously set records. Limits have also been placed on the number of students allowed to ride a single bus, justifying a bus driver’s decision to pass students waiting at bus stops.
When asked for a comment on the new improvement, Transportation Services released the following statement: “Had we known that a pandemic would solve our route time issues, we would have caused a global shutdown much sooner. We look forward to seeing even more improvements during this time.”
It is unclear at this time whether or not Transportation Services will act to maintain this level of productivity once students return to campus in the fall.
— Longboard of Regents
You know that douchebag that rides his longboard in the “No Bike Zone” between the Memorial Student Center and Rudder? Yeah, that’s our Longboard of Regents. When he actually shows up to meetings, you can count on him to sit in the back and Juul with his head drooping to the side as he tries not to fall asleep.