Student Folds Laundry For Fun
After weeks of sitting in the corner of his bedroom and covering every surface in the vicinity, Henry Fritzmaher’s clothes have been folded. The student reported that this was an uncommon occurrence. “I’ve been putting this off ever since my first load of laundry after winter break,” Fitzmaher said. “Not for any particular reason, I’ve just not done it.”
Fitzmaher told Mugdown reporters that folding three months’ worth of laundry gave him something to do besides refreshing social media or sleeping. “Since this quarantine has begun, I’ve been incredibly bored. I thought I had run out of things to do around the house, when all of a sudden I noticed my admittedly massive pile of clothes spilling from my hamper,” Fitzmaher said. “I realized folding my laundry was probably the only thing left to do that I hadn’t been doing all day for the past week, so I decided I’d give it a go. It was the most fun I had all week.”
When asked if he would take on other chores with his newfound free time, the student scoffed. “Listen, I’m bored, but not bored enough to vacuum or clean my bathroom,” Fitzmaher said. “If that happens, we will have really been in trouble.”
— CTE-Walk
Several years ago during Elephant Walk, CTE-Walk took a major league bonk to the noggin when a squirrel dropped his nut-based breakfast on the unsuspecting senior. Disoriented, she looked up just in time to see an ACME anvil flatten her face into two dimensions. As she peeled herself off the pavement and reinflated, she walked into a faux doorway painted onto the wall of the Academic Building. In her confusion, she stumbled across the seal, dooming her to a never-ending Groundhog Day of senior year.