Historic District Residents Required to Answer Riddle as Toll Tax

In a statement released last Friday, the College Station Police Department announced that students must pay a visit to one of the many officers in the neighborhood to pass safely  through the Historic District each day. The College Station Police Department has sent its finest bridge trolls to guard each stop sign at important intersections within the region.

The special officers have been trained in accordance with a new program that demands they take offense to any passerby who does not complete a full stop at a stop sign. The officer trolls use keen senses of detection and rigorous surveillance to sniff out unlawful passerby with unparalleled territorial aggression. Bikers, walkers, and drivers alike report being incessantly pulled over by the new CSPD unit.

For those who disrespect these intersections, the trolls ask the disobedient citizens to respond to a single riddle in order to proceed or else face serious legal repercussions. Riddles include questions ranging from the traveler’s favorite color, to the average airspeed velocity of a laden swallow, to answering who the killer might be in a round room. Some students who leave the interaction claim the questions are nearly impossible to answer correctly.

“He just kept six feet back and would growl at me, or sometimes make a little yip sound,” said William Castbury, a Historic District resident who had been followed on foot by a bridge troll for most of the morning. After four blocks of stalking, the troll let Castbury pass without a face-to-face confrontation.

For future updates on the officers’ location, students can join the “Troll Toll” GroupMe for continuous reports on which intersections are under troll unit surveillance.

 

— Haudi Arabia