Bored Student Learns to Take Care of Himself

As the shelter-in-place remains in effect in College Station, students are forced to find new, innovative ways to pass the time. Many have begun learning new skills, such as how to play an instrument or draw. Others, like junior accounting major Daniel Wulvich, have taken it a step further and learned how to care for themselves at a basic human level.

“The idea just came to me one day,” Wulvich said while folding a load of laundry. “I always see my parents doing dishes and cooking and stuff, and I started to think that maybe they were onto something.”

Wulvich’s new hobbies include activities considered necessary for a healthy standard of living, like cooking food with nutritional value or finally finding whatever was making that weird smell. Wulvich has even gone so far as to make the small townhome he shares with his roommates look like a habitable environment complete with swept floors and clean countertops.

Although surprised by the change, Wulvich’s friends and family are mostly pleased. “I went into his room just last week, and you could barely see the floor under all the trash,” said Michael Kreaton, Wulvich’s roommate. “It’s spotless in there now. I’m happy for the guy, but I hope he doesn’t expect all of us to jump on board with his crazy scheme.”

Wulvich was last seen putting his creative genius to paper in the form of a shopping list.

 

— Hullabaloo Balls