Alumni Enclosure Nearing Completion
With the construction of the 21st Century Classroom Building finishing this fall, Texas A&M University is set to complete the last step of its most ambitious project to date. Spanning from the Albritton Bell Tower to the Memorial Student Center, the newly repurposed 40-acre alumni zone aims to create an all-inclusive experience on campus solely for visiting families and high-profile donors. The Texas A&M administration hopes the space will encourage alumni to reminisce on their time at the university, while also seeing the exciting ways it is facing the challenges of the future.
“I’m told this area is expected to increase collegiate pride in visiting alumni by an estimated 150 percent,” President Michael K. Young said. “Honestly, I’m still not entirely sure what a 21st Century Classroom even is, but this newly unveiled part of campus has been designed exclusively for the ideal visitor experience.”
The new alumni enclosure aims to provide everything visitors need including lodging, dining, and parking with optional excursions to Haynes Ring Plaza or Academic Plaza. Students can drop parents off at the campus hotel, which offers nightly seminars on the advantages of the 21st Century Classroom.
According to university officials familiar with the project, its goal is to standardize the visitor experience by keeping guests as separate as possible from the current student body. Alumni enclosure buildings bordering the rest of campus, such as the Interdisciplinary Life Sciences Building, act as a buffer that reduces undergraduate foot traffic by minimizing student utility of the area. This also stops visitors from straying too far from the comfort of the alumni enclosure. The Association of Former Students estimates alumni tourism generated by the new enclosure will allow the venture to eventually pay for itself.
— Plaid Libs
In order to fight the evil forces of (President Michael K. Young), Plaid Libs flew down from his birthplace in the cosmos to Earth, riding on a (frisky) ray of (tanks). Legend says that he is (45) years old, (17.32) feet tall, lives in (the back row of the Chem building lecture hall), and is positively brimming with (wetness). While fantastic at (vibing), he is a bit shy when it comes to his (garden). At the end of the day, though, The Mugdown keeps him around for his (30 rack). In order to summon him, chant the following words in front of an (anime body pillow) at (4:20) on a (Sunday): The (polyamorous) (cuckhold) (cannonballs) at sundown.