Engineer Escapes Containment
Pandemonium gripped Zachry today when a rogue engineering student broke free from its glass enclosure to wander the halls amongst shocked tourists.
The student in question, a member of the MEEN family, startled a nearby tour group by staring directly at them with its dead, lost eyes. The student was seen lumbering through the halls as it searched for its next meal.
Due to the quick thinking of tour guide Marya Domalia, the group was able to reach safety by barricading themselves in a vacant study room. “We got lucky,” Domalia said. “Students are usually kept here too, but they must have been moved to the holding pens while this enclosure was being cleaned.”
The rogue engineer was eventually cornered in the Fischer Design Center, where it was safely tranquilized and returned to its enclosure by facility staff.
The Dwight Look College of Engineering released a formal apology hours after recapturing the creature and detailed new security measures to ensure tours are safe for both guests and inhabitants. The proposed security features include electrified proximity fences and increased video surveillance of the enclosures.
— Hullabaloo Balls
In the wee hours of the morning on the north side of campus, the echoes of basketballs dribbling and ping pong balls bouncing signal the presence of none other than Hullabaloo Balls. Neither UPD nor Rec employees have even come close to catching this black market sports equipment dealer. Realize you showed up to an intramural badminton game without your lucky shuttlecock? Like the Bat-Signal, Hullabaloo Balls will sense your panic and supply your needs, vanishing just as quickly as he appeared.