‘Awesome Beard,’ Says Fellow Single Guy

Noting that no male relatives in Damien Jones’ family can grow facial hair, bachelor Keenan Robinson made sure to compliment his single bro’s recent beard development at O’Bannons Tap House last night. 

“Sick beard man, you gotta keep it going,” said Robinson upon seeing Jones for the first time in months, expressing his jealousy of Jones’ impressive chinstrap. 

“It’s a labor of love,” said Jones when asked about the “patchy stage” of facial hair development.

Jones’ recent decision to go unshaved comes after months of following rigid personal hygiene standards in hopes of finding a girlfriend. Luckily for Jones, girls seem to be noticing. “Oh… look at your facial hair. You grew it out,” said Mikaela Stout, immediately uninterested. 

 

— Mugdown Staff