Student Earns Citizenship Award, Packs Up After Professor Concludes
Last Monday, senior construction science major Cody Bradford was observed waiting until the end of lecture to pack up his belongings. Classmates reported Bradford was even taking notes the entire time. University officials believe this display and understanding of civic responsibility distinguishes Bradford among students. As repayment for his service to the Texas A&M University community, Bradford will be presented the Citizenship Award by the Dean of the College of Architecture on Friday.
“It’s like he cares about our professor,” said classmate Jenna Crawford when asked about Bradford’s character. “He must be in that men’s org Aggie Men of Honor. It’s the only logical answer.”
The Texas A&M math department is currently conducting a study to find the correlation between waiting to pack up until the end of the lecture period and the likeliness of the professor to bump up your grade at the end of the semester.
“I’m not a hero,” Bradford said. “I’m just like everyone else, only a little more respectful.”
— Century Pee
You may think you know what it means to be hydrated, but no one takes water balance more seriously than Century Pee. No need for diuretics, this girl moves through fluids faster than a freshman Q drops CHEM 111. Century Pee usually lumbers more slowly than Mother Time, but when she feels the urge to go, she can move at the speed of light. Century Pee has been known to collect empty water bottles around campus, but rumor has it she doesn’t use them as spitters. Her kidneys are working overtime at minimum wage, so if you are taking a seat she has recently vacated, be sure and check first for a puddle.