Student Leaves Class Early, Fellow Classmates Enraged
Earlier this week, students of IDIS 340 were reportedly enraged when their fellow classmates began to leave class early. Onlookers report that the professor stood in disbelief as he watched row after row of dejected students leaving his classroom before the 4th quarter of the lecture was even over.
As students were leaving, tensions rose in the lecture hall between those leaving and those staying. A few dutiful students accused the deserters of being “good-for-nothing two percenters.”
“It’s just plain disrespectful. It’s our duty,” junior Martin Ruckers said. “I’ve been waiting for this class since I got my first Aggie sweatshirt at six years old. The Spirit of Aggieland lives between these walls. I chose to be an Aggie to sit in these classes, listen to my professors, and turn in my assignments.”
Identified as one of the students who left early, senior Jonathan Huey agreed to comment. “I just couldn’t stand it any longer,” Huey said. “I mean, what’s the point if I’m going to fail the test anyway? I didn’t come here to sit inside all day.”
Moving forward, all eyes will be on attendance for next week’s lectures. The professors are preparing as if nothing happened. Just one class at a time.
— Downton Aggie
Once placed in a camel clutch by a crack-happy Maggie Smith, Downton Aggie is your typical prim and proper young lady. A wayfaring stranger, an accomplished snake charmer, and a veteran in foreign affairs, Downton Aggie mostly keeps to herself. At any dinner table, this paradigm of politeness is sure to please esteemed guests with her impression of General Ramirez barefoot on hot pavement. Be careful though, there’s more to Downton Aggie than her sunshiney, predictable disposition and her taste for timeless elegance. She also has a pet calico cat named Julio!