Conditions Worsen in Fish Camp Sweatshop

In a controversial move, Fish Camp Director Staff has imposed additional restrictions on co-chairs enduring the sweatshop working conditions of the application review process. Previously, the names of applicants would appear alongside their application, but now only the UINs of applicants will be visible to those reading the applications. Several co-chairs have already begun organizing a movement against Director Staff in response to the new rule.

“This is unacceptable,” said co-chair Brandyn Amblewell while dousing one of his fellow protesters in gasoline. “We can’t even look up applicants on Facebook to make sure they’re attractive. I am not about to risk my social media presence over this.”

Amblewell revealed that morale in the basement, the room that all co-chairs are locked in to fulfill their weekly quota, has hit an all-time low. As co-chairs read through pile after pile of anonymous applications, many have given up hope of constructing a camp of cool, likable people. The only comforts that remain to them now are the heat of the furnace and the reassuring weight of their iron collars.

Amblewell also informed interviewers that, between the cracks of the “discipline whip,” he overheard the directors mention blindfolds as a potential next step. Fearing for the future of his camp, Amblewell has already begun searching UINs on Howdy in hopes of salvaging the organization.

 

— Hullabaloo Balls