Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Report: High-Ranking Corps Member Caught Repeatedly Defecating On Campus

By Hullakazoo , in Corps of Cadets , at January 15, 2020 Tags: , , , , , , ,

Several eyewitness reports indicate that a high-ranking female member of the Texas A&M University Corps of Cadets has been openly defecating and urinating on the Texas A&M campus. 

The shocking reports from students, faculty and anonymous sources within E-2 Company seem to suggest that the cadet in question has physically relieved herself in broad daylight almost every single day of the last four years without reprimand. 

Sources say the cadet tended to sniff around trees and patches of grass before exposing herself in full view of the student body. The cadet rarely even wore clothes while doing so, opting to be scantily clad in maroon robes if she wore anything at all.

The Mugdown has reached out to representatives from the university, the Corps of Cadets, and E-2 Company for comment.

 

—Hullakazoo