What The Hell Did Heather Bring To Our Friendsgiving?

Oh hey, Heather is here. I wonder what she brought. Wow, that is a huge container. Is that…potato salad? Why would anyone make potato salad for a potluck? I brought wings. Those damn wings cost me $25, and Heather thought it was okay to bring her mom’s recipe for potato salad? 

God, I hate her. Why couldn’t she bring drinks or chips like a normal person? Now I just have to figure out how to get away with getting a little bit of everything except the potato salad. Oh god, it doesn’t even look good. Is it supposed to be yellow? It smells like death (if death had sweaty feet).

Alright, I looked at it and said “Yum” when she was looking. That should be okay, right? Dammit, she’s still looking at me. I might have to actually put some of it on my plate. You know what? No. Hell no. I am not even touching this mess. In fact, I am going to do everyone here a favor and knock this slime off the table and right into the trash can. I will make it look like an accident and everything. Okay, here goes nothing… 

Whoops. Oh no. Oh wow, how did that happen? I am so sorry Heather… I didn’t mean to do that at all. This is such a tragedy because I love potato salad. Wow, and it looked so good too… 

I can’t believe I actually did it. Suck it, Heather. Now nobody has to smell your stale mayonnaise. 

Oh look, Sarah is finally here. I bet she brought something good. Wait. No, please. Is that… coleslaw? 

 

—Whoop-Tang Clan