Unpopular Sorority Girl Not Paying For Friends

On Monday, Tri Eta senior Katherine Albright publicly announced that she had not made any friends in her sorority despite paying $1000 per semester in dues. According to Albright, she came to this realization after attending a crush party Friday night and failing to recognize any sisters to introduce to her dates. 

Albright reportedly has scheduled a 7:00 PM class during chapter meetings the past four semesters and has skipped all non-mandatory events to hang out with her boyfriend. 

“I don’t know why she is even paying for the sorority anymore,” said Jason Durbin, Albright’s boyfriend. “I keep suggesting she quit. That money could go towards her savings, charity, or anything, really.”

When asked for their opinions, most active members declined to comment because they had “no idea who Katherine Albright even is.” 

Amanda Fairley, Albright’s grand-little, was angry that Albright remained in the organization. “She should just leave,” Fairley said. “While she may not think staying is bothering anyone, it hurts people like me who want an active big-little family.”

Acknowledging that Albright’s dues are more important than her involvement, Tri Eta leadership showed concern with the apparent lack of effort on Albright’s behalf. “Why do people think you can just pay money and automatically get friends?” said Tri Eta chapter president Margaret Canales. “Sororities are like any other organization — you have to put in the hours, and the friends come with time.”

 

—12th Man Card & Anime Sciences