Friend with Mediocre Personality Starts Podcast
Despite having a mediocre personality and lacking notable quirks or idiosyncrasies, your friend David Coleman decided to start a podcast last Monday.
According to Coleman, he felt “inspired” to start one after avidly listening to podcasts over the past year. “My bud Josh and I really thought we could make some funny, creative content,” Coleman said. “I feel like I’m really doing a lot for the podcast community.”
The podcast’s logo is visually attractive, accented by a copyright-infringing graphic and a witty, pun-based title. While several of Coleman’s closest friends promised they would listen to the podcast in full each week, most only listened to the first half. “I mean, it was okay I guess,” said Coleman’s roommate Jay Quintero. “But he didn’t seem to edit out any mistakes or even turn off his fan while recording.”
Coleman expects the podcast will have a humble audience of a few hundred students after the first few episodes and believes it will eventually develop into a full-time career. At press-time, the first episode had amassed seven listens on SoundCloud.
—Anime Sciences
Treading silently through the Kleberg Center amongst the yeeyees and horse girls, we find Anime Sciences making his way to class with his head bowed. An inattentive freshmen accidentally walks into him, and suddenly the crowded hallway goes hush. A mind-bendingly long series of close-ups, confused grunts, and angry growls signals the triggering of Anime Sciences’ wrath as he unsheathes his katana from its holster. Uttering a rapid flurry of insults in English that somehow don’t match the movement of his lips, he challenges the freshman to either flee or face certain death. The fish scampers off. Order is restored in West Campus.