Sophomore Discovers Fish Camp Dad’s Secret Family
In a shocking turn of events last Tuesday, a former fish camp attendee discovered that his Fish Camp father has a new, secret DG family. Dustin Myers, a sophomore computer science major, told reporters he was walking through the MSC when he saw his dad surrounded by a group of unfamiliar freshmen.
“I mean, I knew my dad was working late nights, answering GroupMe messages at weird hours and going to extra meetings for Fish Camp, but I didn’t expect to see him blatantly disregarding my siblings by cheating on my mom like that,” Myers said. “After so many special memories together, I can’t believe he would do this.”
When asked about his home life, Myers described lunches at the MSC, pulling tickets to games and meeting up for freshmen events with his family. Myers said he and some of his other siblings “were completely blindsided.” He is, however, still trying to contact the siblings he has not seen since camp last August.
Upon further review, investigators confirmed that Travis Dodger, a junior meteorology major and Fish Camp counselor, does indeed have a separate family. Clarissa Grant, Myers’ mother, declined to comment but wanted to send her regards to Dodger’s new “perfect” partner.
“I only have love in my heart for all of my DG spouses and kids, wherever they are. Even though I have a new family, I’ll still remember you when you apply for chair,” Dodger said.
—Milidairy Walk
Riding horseback and scanning the horizon for any cattle left behind, Milidairy Walk proudly lifts his hat and wipes the sweat from his brow. It’s been a long day on the range, and he is ready to get some shut-eye. As he takes in the beautiful sunset, he ponders what his family may do with the ranch generations from now. The sun slowly dips below the hills and Milidairy Walk turns for home, hoping to return before supper gets cold.