Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


“The Big Event is a Sham” States Student that Wasn’t Going to Volunteer Anyway

By Space Cadet , in Local News , at March 29, 2019 Tags: , , , ,

Construction science junior Diane Phillipson spread controversial statements during her lunchtime conversation Wednesday, stating that The Big Event was an empty sham.

Phillipson argued that a day of service in the College Station and Bryan area primarily helps those who don’t need assistance. She attempted to convince her friends that the entire campus participating in various service projects failed to make any meaningful difference.

“Boy, a bunch of college kids cleaning out a middle-class couple’s shed,” said Phillipson, who has not done any volunteer work since her court-ordered community service for an MIP her freshman year.

“Like that’s really going to chip away at the real problems like poverty and homelessness in Houston,” said Phillipson. When asked if she had done anything to help with these other issues, she said she has never contributed either service or monetary donations.

Upon realizing that everyone near her had signed up weeks ago, Phillipson remarked how people would do anything for a t-shirt. Shortly afterward she began planning which movies she would watch on Netflix while her peers used the day to better their community.

 

—Space Cadet