Closed Minded Student Copies Parents’ Alcohol Leanings
Last Friday night, junior Industrial Distribution Major Jacob Leigher got into a moderate argument with his roommates during their pregame before going to Northgate. All was well until Leigher asked for help carrying in the beer he had purchased for them. Following his plea for help, Leigher was met with much criticism based on his purchasing decisions.
According to Leigher, his roommates chastised him for his preferences in alcohol, claiming that he should form his own tastes, instead of “copying his parents’.“ When asked to comment, Leighers roommate, sophomore Anthropology major Mason Fetch, said, “It’s so obvious that he copied his family’s inclinations without ever questioning them. I wish he would think for himself.”
Leigher had his own input on the situation. “All they do is attack me for my beliefs,” he said. “Am I wrong to savor what I was raised with? It is something that I happen to find pleasantly refreshing.”
Leigher’s third roommate, sophomore Communications major David Garland, provided his own thoughts. “I just wish he was more open minded with his alcohol purchases. It just shows his prejudice toward other alcohol.”
“They should just be happy that I’m buying them alcohol,” Leigher concluded.
— Longboard of Regents
You know that douchebag that rides his longboard in the “No Bike Zone” between the Memorial Student Center and Rudder? Yeah, that’s our Longboard of Regents. When he actually shows up to meetings, you can count on him to sit in the back and Juul with his head drooping to the side as he tries not to fall asleep.