On-Campus Hotel Bar to Accept Dining Dollars
In an effort to appeal to students, Texas A&M University has announced that its newly opened Block T Bar will accept dining dollars.
After finishing construction last year, Texas A&M’s Doug Pitcock Hotel and Conference Center opened its doors for the 2018 football season. The hotel was built to provide visitors with a convenient place to stay while earning money for the university. However, its construction cost the goodwill of its student body.
“Jimbo has been well-received by Aggie students. The hotel…not so much,” said the manager of the hotel. “Because of a bad start, students may never fully appreciate what this hotel’s added income will do for our university. But we are making changes to improve the students’ perception.”
The reaction to accepting dining dollars has been overwhelmingly positive. One student said, “If I drank in between classes before, all my friends would have called me an alcoholic. Now I can enjoy a rum and coke before my Intro to Philosophy class— it’s classy and economical.”
Not only has regular traffic increased, but nights of common exams have seen exponential growth. “I can’t justify going to Northgate after an exam. It costs too much! But at the hotel, I can use my parent’s money without them knowing.”
“While we had a rough start, I’m sure we can win back the students’ goodwill quickly,” the hotel manager said. “And if not, within four years, all the current students will be gone, and the new ones won’t know a thing.”
—Anime Sciences
Treading silently through the Kleberg Center amongst the yeeyees and horse girls, we find Anime Sciences making his way to class with his head bowed. An inattentive freshmen accidentally walks into him, and suddenly the crowded hallway goes hush. A mind-bendingly long series of close-ups, confused grunts, and angry growls signals the triggering of Anime Sciences’ wrath as he unsheathes his katana from its holster. Uttering a rapid flurry of insults in English that somehow don’t match the movement of his lips, he challenges the freshman to either flee or face certain death. The fish scampers off. Order is restored in West Campus.