Choral Risers Collapse under the Weight of Singing Cadets’ Egos

The Mugdown has received reports that all choral risers utilized in future performances are to be reinforced beyond the standard steel-frame design. After decades of praise and access to high-profile events, Singing Cadets’ egos have grown substantially. In their early years, as an all-male glee club at Texas A&M College, the Singing Cades were able to manage the attention of audiences. Over time, the group began to notice the negative impacts of their growing egos. Consequences included trouble getting down the narrow aisles of buses and walking through doorways two at a time. While creating challenges for the Singing Cadets to overcome, these effects were manageable.

The choir’s collective ego had a more troubling and destructive impact when the choral risers below them collapsed to the ground last Friday. Audience members were first confused by the moaning sounds, wondering if a new arrangement of popular choral pieces was being used, but realized something was amiss when a singer on the back row of the risers disappeared. Shortly after, the high-pitched screams of tenors could be heard over the rumbling groans of injured basses. Charlie Mansfield, a Baritone in the Singing Cadets, shared his relief that despite the chaos of the collapse, those who were quick enough to jump off of the risers kept singing, ensuring that the show went on.

This terror-inducing event led to multiple injuries and has forced the organization to engage in greater risk management in the future. While the Singing Cadets’ leadership is working to ensure future choral risers can sustain the weight of their egos, no discussions have been had about changing the culture of the organization to reduce the weight of what caused the collapse.

 

—Reveille Hills