How to Tell if Your Friend is in The Mugdown
The Mugdown is Texas A&M’s most famous group of highly trained satirists. After years in the intensive, soul crushing Mugcademy, they are constantly on guard about their secret identity. You will likely never figure out who they are unless you’re a CIA agent or very lucky. You’re actually more likely to be struck by lightning.
Many people foolishly think they can outsmart our best operatives. If you want to try your luck at exposing our most illustrious writers, read ahead at your own risk. As they say, the pen is mightier than the sword.
1. They are always sweaty.
Why are they so nervous? Do they have something to hide?
2. If your friend is a female, it’s a no go.
Women aren’t funny.
3. They always meet on Thursdays at 7 pm in MSC 2406.
Please don’t come to our meeting this week.
4. You have never doubted their heterosexuality.
T Bar M style, The Mugdown is proud to announce that no gays have infiltrated our ranks.
5. They order their Chick-fil-a sandwiches sans pickles.
No one else does this.
6. They deny being in The Mugdown.
At great personal risk, I will disclose that we don’t prepare our agents for waterboarding at the Mugcademy.
7. They write for The Battalion.
Really?
Good luck out there exposing your friends!
—Ring Chunks
No, Ring Chunks is feeling fine, really. Yeah, it was a long journey to the bottom of the pitcher, but she knew that coming into her dunk. That’s why she made sure to let it sit overnight and pick a light beer she didn’t care for and – oh. Oh no. Um, okay, let’s just move her here to the trash can – wait, why is it full? Oh God, Ring Chunks, just keep it together until we can reach the toilet – NO! NOT IN THE KITCHEN SINK!