Tuesday, November 5, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Crafty Professor Calls Tests “Celebrations of Knowledge”

By Bacon & Ags , in Campus Life Local News , at December 4, 2018 Tags: , , , , , ,

Dr. Erik Pavelka, professor for one section of Modern Physics at Texas A&M University, has purged the terms “test” and “exam” from his vocabulary, choosing instead to use “celebration of knowledge”. Thanks to Pavelka’s beaming positivity, students of his class are unusually optimistic about their upcoming final examination.

Students claim that referring to their tests in this calming manner motivates them with hope in place of the usual terror. This hope remains right up until the tests are passed out, as Pavelka’s deliberate choice of words alleviates the actual pain of failure an almost undetectable amount.

The Mugdown reached out to Pavelka to obtain a comment on his groundbreaking teaching methods and the impact they are having on his students. “I am very funny,” said Pavelka.

Both Pavelka and his students, in defiance of their positive mindset, are utterly unprepared for what will become a historically low test average.

 

—Bacon & Ags