Student Wearing Cargo Pants Detained for Violation of Clear Bag Policy
Last weekend before the football game between Texas A&M and Ole Miss, sophomore Daniel Pattener was detained at the southeast entrance of Kyle Field for a clothing violation. Pattener was reportedly pulled aside when officer Phil Johnson noticed a crinkly sound coming from Pattener’s bulging pockets. Officer Johnson withdrew two corn dogs, a handful of Chex Mix, and a half-eaten bag of Jolly Ranchers from the side compartments of Pattener’s cargo pants.
After detainment, Pattener was issued a citation and asked to remove the offensive clothing, which was confiscated with a pile of Camelbak water bottles and small metal flasks. Sources report that Pattener plans to dispute the citation, claiming his cargo pants pockets are equivalent to a “small clutch bag without a strap,” permitted by the Texas A&M Clear Bag Policy. As of now, officials are unsure what the student court’s verdict will be.
Three days following the event, Officer Johnson was awarded President Michael K. Young’s Medal of Distinguishment for dutifully maintaining safety and revenue at Kyle Field. Johnson accepted the award with a nod of respect. “I’m just doing my job, sir,” Johnson said.
—Washboard Ags
Sure sure, we all know those muscle bound meatheads that infest weight rooms across the country, but here in Aggieland our dudebros are a little different. Instead of slamming weights and kicking nerds, our beloved Washbord Ags always has encouraging words to say or is there to spot you when you push a bit too hard. So if you ever see them at the rec giving the new folks helpful tips, be sure to buy them a smoothie to keep those Abs in proper Aggieland shape.