Friday, April 19, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Ghost of Earl Rudder Endorses Beto

By West Campus Mirage , in Local News , at October 15, 2018 Tags: , , , ,

The phantom of General James Earl Rudder officially endorsed Representative Beto O’Rourke for Senate following the Congressman’s on-campus rally more than a week ago.

Rudder has not commented on politics since Texas A&M University’s first student body president drama in 1972. This silence led to speculation that Rudder had become lax on his civic duties. However, recent comments by Sen. Ted Cruz, R-TX, made the 2018 midterm a priority for Rudder.

“For decades, Fish Camp, Impact, and T-Camp have been using my tower and theater for their events. I think over time, the ‘dyed hair’ and ‘tofu’ kinda grew on me.”

Although Texas A&M University’s 16th President is no longer legally eligible to vote, his endorsement has come as an unwelcome surprise to many.

“I thought that College Station was a safe space for exclusively traditional values,” one Aggie mom tweeted.  A former Aggie Band commander commented on Reddit, “looks like Old Army is worse than dead – it’s in limbo.”

The spirit of the Spirit of Aggieland said that his political leanings should not come as a surprise. “After years of living on a college campus, I stopped being a Conservative Democrat of the 1960’s and became a Liberal Democrat of the 21st Century. The ghosts of the OG wags really dig it.”  

 

一 West Campus Mirage