Thursday, March 28, 2024
Texas A&M's First Satirical Newspaper, Since 1875


Guy at Tailgate Convinces Everyone Aggies Are Going All the Way

By Buffalo Wild Wags , in Local News Sports , at October 10, 2018 Tags: , , , ,

Following the big Aggie win at Kyle Field this past weekend against the Kentucky Wildcats, Texas A&M students have a newfound faith in Coach Jimbo Fisher and the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Football Team. The game, 20-14, had students on the edge of their seats. Aggies all over the country have been raving about the offense, hoping for a continued winning streak. At one tailgate after the game, Larry Blaze ‘07 convinced everyone that the Aggies were going to go all the way to the National Championship.

“Look, there’s one thing I know, and that is that the Aggies are gonna win it all! Natty Champs here we come! I had faith in Jimbo all along. How can the guy who led Florida State to a title do any wrong?” said Blaze while standing on top of two Yeti coolers.

Blaze continued to rile up the crowd at the tailgate, getting attendees to chant “Natty Champs 2k18” and “We want Bama.” The event turned into a mob, with Aggie fans pouring in from other tailgates. At one point, Blaze even took out a speaker and proceeded to speak to the gathering through the connected mic.

Freshman Ryan Deal had wandered up to the tailgate after her first football game, astounded by what she was witnessing. “I can see it all now. A&M versus Central Florida, the two underdogs of the year. Texas A&M overcame the Sumlin debacle and UCF continues to prove critics wrong, leading to two of the greatest football programs ever seen,” said Deal. “This guy seriously knows what he’s talking about.”

After about two hours of Blaze leading the crowd, the number of Aggies had climbed to about three-hundred, pushing the E-Z Up tent to its limit. Policemen patrolling on golf carts decided to step in to disperse the individuals and ended up issuing a Public Intoxication charge to Blaze.

 

—Buffalo Wild Wags