Senior Taking Job in College Station Comes to Terms With Dying Here
While thanking God for his plans for her to work at local engineering company Seltzion, senior engineering major Lauren Buckner accepted that she would die in this town. Buckner came to Texas A&M with dreams of working in Houston or somewhere abroad. After failing classes and never having an internship, she has lowered her expectations to spending sixty more years in College Station.
Buckner reassured family that she isn’t jealous of her friends moving to Houston, Dallas or other large cities across the country. She feels blessed that she can stay in a town where her undergraduate friends are, where she already rents an apartment, and where she can be comfortably buried in the late 21st century.
Buckner plans to spend the first two years of post-grad spending time with her younger friends and trying to enjoy College Station without being in student organizations. Her friends’ graduations and departures will leave a gap in her life which she expects to fill with a man whose expectations have been equally lowered.
“Honestly it would be amazing to marry another Aggie,” Buckner said. “I would be so excited for us to fill a house with our little giglets.”
Buckner says she still looks wistfully at apartments in Berlin and New York, though she knows those will always only be dreams. Buckner is optimistic about College Station, specifically the lower cost of living, faster commute times and being able to rent her driveway for $40 a car on game days.
—12th Man Card
12th Man Card is consistently losing his manhood, whether that be by skipping “Saturdays Are for the Boys” parties, drinking Michelob Lime Cactus or holding his girlfriend’s purse during football games. 12th Man Card is willing to sacrifice his manliness for love, leaving him with a constant turnstile of love interests that never seem to satisfy his romantic needs.