Cadet Escort Escort Service to Launch Fall 2018
The newest addition to the Texas A&M dating and safety scene was announced Monday with confirmation that the Cadet Escort Escort Service (CEES) will launch at the beginning of the Fall 2018 semester. The program is planned to run parallel with the Cadet Escort Service and provide single cadets to any boot chaser wanting a date to walk them home after dark or on weekends.
Paul Samson, junior Communications major, a cadet in Squadron 7 and designer of the program spoke briefly at the announcement ceremony.
“This is truly a step forward for the Corps and the campus at large. No longer will single freshman girls have to waste their time with awkward male fish who can’t string a sentence together when talking to them,” Samson said.
The project was greenlit following a trial run during the week before the Phi Alpha Omega and Beta Delta Beta formals where the number of cadets in Instagram posts more than tripled, and complaints of cadets awkwardly staring were cut by half compared to last year’s formals.
CEES will provide a number of options for any budget that can be added to a base model cadet. Premiums such as senior boots, max physical fitness scores, and an out of regulation haircut can be purchased for those who so desire. For budget-minded consumers the “At Least He’s in Khaki” package is available, complete with a first-semester fish haircut and inability to talk about anything other than the Corps.
For a monthly fee bootchasers can join Cadet Escort Escort Platinum to gain premium perks. These perks include summer and winter break usage, guaranteed first deck football tickets in the Corps block and access to the Commanding Officer line of cadets. This line includes selections such as Reserved/Very sexy (RVs) and Particularly Masculine Cadets (PMC).
Corps Operations Officer and senior Mechanical Engineering major Kyle Baker gave an official statement from the Corps of Cadets regarding CEES.
“Cadet key leaders give their full support to the new program. Every time a sorority member has to sit through a 5 minute conversation with a socially awkward cadet, irreparable damage is done to the image of the Corps of Cadets and the ability for male cadets to find a date,” said Baker.
The Cadet Escort Escort Service plans to open to the public at the beginning of Howdy week this Fall. Plans for an exclusively female CEES called Women of Aggieland Guardian Service (WAGS) is projected to be available by Spring 2019.
—Space Cadet
Space Cadet, oh, sweet, innocent, naive Space Cadet. Describing Space Cadet is difficult, but we will attempt to do him justice. Imagine a 120-pound, pale, 5’9, glasses-wearing, engineering Corps fish, that dreams of flying to the moon (though he would never pass that flight physical). Space Cadet spends his free time playing obscure card games and watching the live stream of the International Space Station.