Dedicated Academic Hero Went to Class Today
Despite insurmountable odds and immense doubt from her peers, sophomore Katherine Hunt bravely went to her classes today despite logistical hurdles and the allure of Aggie football.
After facing the gauntlet of Aggieland traffic, our intrepid heroine parked in Fan Field and rode Bus 5, Bush School, to main campus in compliance with the parking notice she had received earlier this week. Overcoming the obstacles of campus transportation, she arrived at her 3:05 p.m. class 15 minutes early so she could respond to emails and study her notes from the previous lecture.
In class, our best and brightest, Miss Katherine Hunt, did not glance at her phone. Boldly taking notes in pen, she began to grasp the concept her professor was lecturing about. Armed with this new knowledge, she stood on the shoulders of giants and asked a question in the middle of class, willfully ignoring the tailgating happening just across campus.
Despite her incredible acts of transportation flexibility and superhuman willpower to attend class, she doesn’t think herself special. “I’m not a hero or an inspiration,” Hunt said. “I just think that we’re here to learn.”
—Ring Chunks
No, Ring Chunks is feeling fine, really. Yeah, it was a long journey to the bottom of the pitcher, but she knew that coming into her dunk. That’s why she made sure to let it sit overnight and pick a light beer she didn’t care for and – oh. Oh no. Um, okay, let’s just move her here to the trash can – wait, why is it full? Oh God, Ring Chunks, just keep it together until we can reach the toilet – NO! NOT IN THE KITCHEN SINK!