Bush School to Surpass Mays as Preppiest School

Last Thursday, at a fully-catered lunch panel on the future of the Bush School, Dean Mark Welsh announced that the Bush School of Government and Public Service will soon surpass Mays School of Business in preppiness.  

“I fully expect that this school will overtake the business school within the year, if not much sooner,” Dean Welsh said. Welsh, a retired four-star Air Force general, explained that although “prep” is hard to measure empirically, people will notice nonetheless.

“For example, my students wear business professional any time they set foot in the building,” Welsh said. “Mays students might be training to become professionals, but they rarely look like it.” He explained that the consistent stream of high-profile visitors was the reason Bush School students dress so extravagantly on a daily basis, regardless of whether or not a guest was scheduled that day.

The announcement comes at a time of transition for the Allen Building, the physical home of the “Bushies,” as Bush School students call themselves. Next fall, the Economics department will no longer be allowed in the Allen Building, with the Political Science department close behind. “This will be a huge improvement to our school community,” said Colin Oake, a second-year graduate student. “We were always held back by the presence of undergraduates. Now we have access to all of the space to which we are entitled.”  

Aside from purging the Allen Building of undergrads, Bushies take pride in their attention to public service, rather than personal gain. “My classes are filled with people who would rather take a low-paying job and give back to their country than work in retail,” Oake said. “Although, we pretty much always land jobs that compensate us nicely.”

First-year graduate student Lori Inlow emphasized the Bush School’s clout with other preppy schools. “Every year, we challenge the LBJ School at t.u. to a softball game. Not only does this demonstrate that we are the only school redass enough to keep that rivalry alive, but it also gives us an opportunity to network with other elite students.” Inlow argued that this association boosts the preppiness of the Bush School significantly.

When asked if this announcement indicated the birth of a competition between Texas A&M’s government and business schools, Dean Welsh shut down the idea. “You think that Eli Jones will ever rival me? That nerd has spent all of his life working for renowned research schools. He could never challenge a prestigious government school led by yours truly. How hard is it to teach business to a few thousand frat guys, anyways?”  

 

⎻ West Campus Mirage

Photo Courtesy of Sterlin Shaffer’18, Memorial Student Center