Total Nerd Defends Use of Bike Helmet
On Wednesday, sophomore computer science major Eric Livingston confirmed reports that he wears a helmet when biking. “My decision to wear a helmet is a personal matter,” Livingston said, addressing a crowd of disgruntled students at Rudder Plaza. “It’s my body and my choice, and I don’t appreciate your judgment.”
Several students around campus confirmed that they had seen the disturbing sight. “Oh yeah, I know who that is,” said junior Alexia Castor. “I was so shocked when I saw him that I nearly got hit by another bike behind me.”
While bikes have long been popular on campus, usage has surged exponentially in the past four years. Transportation experts have attributed this trend to the constantly expanding campus and the often unreliable bus system. Today, an unwritten code of conduct governs on-campus cycling. Most cyclists, with the clear exception of Livingston, conform to the “no helmet” policy and to regulation requiring sidewalk-only riding.
When addressing the crowd, Livingston maintained his decision to continue wearing his helmet despite the negative attention it attracts. “My uncle suffered a traumatic brain injury while riding a bike seven years ago,” Livingston said. “After witnessing his recovery, I know that enduring the stares and jeers is so much better than going through what he did, especially considering the way some people ride their bikes on campus.”
Sophomore Max Driskill, who sits near Livingston in CSCE 221, said the helmet usage disturbs his classroom environment. “[Eric] always comes in with his hair all messed up and stuff. It’s like he thinks his safety is more important than his appearance.”
— Heldenfalls
Once an average student eons ago, Heldenfalls committed some unknown sin against the Aggie gods and has since been burdened with a strange punishment: She is forced to carry her backpack to the top of the infamous Heldenfels stairs only to fall back to the bottom again over and over for all eternity. Though this may seem like a horrible fate, the philosophy department argues that Heldenfalls’ endless task represents the absurd heroism of the human condition. Each atom of that backpack, each mineral flake of those concrete stairs, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a woman’s heart. One must imagine Heldenfalls happy.