University Writing Center to Offer Instagram Caption Course
This past weekend, the University Writing Center announced a brand-new course after noting a sizeable need in previously uncharted territory: Instagram captions. The UWC wants to capitalize on social media’s growing importance to students by helping users create captions worthy of hundreds of likes.
This course will give caption ideas covering a wide variety of events: first day of class, bid day, holidays, semiformal, Ring Day, birthdays, and many more. Topics include emoji use, optimal length, the elimination of capital letters, and whether or not you have enough followers to post something quirky without seeming weird.
Kaylee Patterson, a sophomore kinesiology major, had nothing but praise for the week-long intensive course. “I knew I couldn’t post a picture for my best friend’s birthday with the caption, ‘You’re so easy to celebrate!’ after seeing all my friends posting the exact same thing,” said Patterson. “The University Writing Center helped me come up with a caption that finally got me to 400 likes. Thank you UWC!”
Hannah Philps, a senior business management major, relayed her distress over the rising importance of formulating the perfect caption. “I started college in 2014,” said Philps. “Back then, it didn’t even matter what caption you put under your Valencia-filtered selfie of you and your roommate. Thank God I have this course so I can hang on to my shreds of relevancy.”
It is rumored that the University Writing Center is set to roll out other social media-related courses, including the perfect humble brag and what to name your Facebook albums after you graduate.
—Magnum OPAS
In the shade behind the stage at Rudder Auditorium, there is a box that holds exactly 28 Magnum Condoms, provided by none other than Magnum OPAS. A firm believer in “wrapping it before tapping it” Magnum OPAS offers condoms to the condomless, an advocate for safe sex and theatre alike.