Big Brother Event

Students have often questioned the mysterious manner in which The Big Event staff assign student groups to job sites. This year, The Big Event has implemented a new policy when assigning jobs to student organizations, calling it “Big Brother Event.”

Since April of last year, Big Brother Event has been utilizing social media algorithms to detect which student organizations have generated the most favorable content about their Big Event experiences. Groups that have spent the past year flooding their social media with desirable posts will be given jobs such as mulching a yard in Castlegate. Meanwhile, undesirable supporters—whose social media posts have been found lacking or even negative—will be forced to endure hard labor lasting all day on rural properties in the outskirts of Bryan-College Station.

This decision was met with controversy, as many students were worried they could have been more supportive of Big Brother Event had they known its influence. “I don’t have a problem with Big Brother watching me,” said John Murdoch. “I just wish I would have posted more on my social media so I could guarantee an easy work site.”

“Once we implemented the new program, we saw positive feedback increase 88%,” said Janice Rupert, a sophomore history major and Big Event staff member. “We haven’t seen this much motivation to participate in The Big Event since everyone was convinced it was mandatory their freshman year. Overall, we look forward to the increased social media presence we will have when people begin posting in light of job sites for next year.”

Big Brother Event has promised an increase in The Big Event enjoyment for those who parade their support for the cause and harsh labor for those who see themselves above the event. The moment this year’s event ends, the social media monitoring for those faithful to The Big Event will begin.

 

– Netflix and Drill