Most Inclusive Corps Holds Most Exclusive Event

The 2017-2018 Corps of Cadets is not only the largest the Corps has been since 1975, but also the most inclusive the Corps has ever been. The current Corps focuses its energy on separating itself from the past.

The changes in the Corps shift beyond ideological boundaries and have reshaped how annual events are conducted as well. Events this year have included vegan meal options at all outfit BBQs and a daily “2 Minutes of Hate” after dinner, where freshmen are allowed to yell at any upperclassmen. The biggest shift was the “Rock the Quad” event, where the most hateful sophomore from each outfit was stoned to death by their fish. The most recent change is the way in which the Cadet Challenge event, “Bloody Cross,” is held.

Much less exciting than the name indicates, Bloody Cross is a “three” mile run around the Quad in which outfits race each other to a soundtrack of 80s rock. A bulletin from the Commandant, General Ramirez, elaborated on the situation: “We believe that decreasing the number of runners for the event will better represent our credo of ‘Inclusion by all means necessary.’” In past years, the event required 75% participation to qualify for an event, but the new requirement lowers that number to 15 runners.

Historically, all-male outfits dominated this event; Company H-1 has won the event for the past 17 years in a row. However, with the runner count set to 15, outfits only have to field the fastest 15 guys in the company. “It’s really genius if you think about it,” said Brad Sauer, Corps Commander. “Even though 98% of the runners registered for the event are men, we can use the results to show that integrated outfits are just as physically fit as soon-to-be-integrated units.”

The cadets themselves had mixed reactions to the event, though. “It’s not that only all-male outfits could win the event,” said Jenner Pinkerton, a senior cadet in A-1. “It’s just that they are the only ones who care to try. The three ways to be disqualified from the race are to swear, to push or pull other runners, or to wear costumes. Who do you think that last rule is for?”

Over the weekend, each outfit will have the opportunity to try its hand at breaking a winning streak matching the senior class’ year. Over the course of the weekend, those who visit the Quad will see Bloody Cross run as it would have been forty years ago: all male.

 

– Netflix & Drill, Hazed and Confused