Entire Gay Community Shows Up at Party
Unease permeated the gay community at Texas A&M, as many realized that the entire population of gay Aggie men attended Olivia Ellmont’s 21st Birthday Bash.
“I saw on Facebook that my friend, Brandon, and his boyfriend, Ian, were coming to Olivia’s thing—which was cool because it’s always awkward showing up to a party where you only know the host,” said junior international studies major Seth Patterson. “It wasn’t until I went to get some jello shots that I saw that Adrian Shumaker and Blake Aleta were there, too.”
Sophomore management major Blake Aleta told The Mugdown, “At one point, I saw this guy who looked super familiar, but I couldn’t remember where I knew him from. Then I realized I had matched with him on Tinder a bunch of times but never messaged him. Yikes.”
“At one point, I even took inventory of every man in the room and it turns out that I follow 87% of them on Instagram,” senior Darryl Robinson said. “And then there are the guys who I didn’t technically know were gay, but Facebook and Instagram are always insistent that I should add them, so I’ve known.”
“I’m sure some of the guys there were straight. But how do I know which ones? I swear, even [ex-boyfriend] Wes showed up,” Patterson said.
Wes Munter holds up a photo on Grindr, a popular gay dating app: “Look at this torso photo! That’s me in the background! It’s from Olivia’s party!”
— North by Northgate
If you’ve ever wondered who you have to thank for “north” at Texas A&M being pointed towards the local bar district instead of the north pole, look no further. A political activist and local alcoholic, his claim to fame and life achievement was convincing the city of College Station to legally define “north” as “of or denoting the direction from any specified area, city, or country towards the Northgate Entertainment District.”