Drunk Mom Caught With Fake ID on Northgate

Aggie Ring weekend fills College Station with excitement, exponentially-increased alcohol sales, and an uncomfortable amount of parents. This past Friday, 2,800 Aggies received their coveted piece of gold, bringing well over 5,000 parents to campus. While some families only stick around for the 30 second ring presentation and two hour photography session, other moms, dads, and extended family members make Ring Day a weekend-long celebration and commemorate their child’s accomplishments by getting absolutely trashed on Northgate.

One mother was caught attempting to use a fake ID at Mama Sake on Saturday night. Eyewitnesses report that the woman, described as caucasian with shoulder-length blonde/gray hair and a petite build, was stopped at the door of the bar upon presenting her driver’s license to the bouncer. The bouncer began questioning the clearly middle-aged mom as to why she was in possession of a 22 year old’s identification card.

The woman, confirmed to be Karen Dickerson, class of 1989, started arguing with the Mama Sake staff. “What are you talking about? This is me! I look mature for my age,” she slurred, while stumbling into various other Sake patrons still waiting to get inside.

Of course, nearby law enforcement immediately stepped in to mitigate the tense situation. Dickerson was escorted from the premises for suspected public intoxication, and her fake ID was confiscated. A few bystanders were available for a statement after the incident.

“Some moms just wanna feel younger, I guess, but she must’ve had a pretty pathetic fake for Sake to catch it,” said Karl Lacherbachen, a performance studies Master’s student.

A College Station Police Department spokesman said the department regularly deals with fraudulent forms of identification but could not recall a time in which someone used a fake ID to appear younger than they actually are. “We’re proud of how our team handled this,” said Sharon Mackrell, Chief of Police. “It’s easy to let down your guard on nights when most of the Northgate patrons are in their 40s and 50s, but this situation reminded us how important it is to remain focused on our duty.”

Mackrell also mentioned that College Station police are planning to implement a 3-part identification check for any patrons who order drinks on Northgate. Those wishing to consume alcohol will be required to present an ID, birth certificate, and passport.

Dickerson’s daughter, Randi, declined to comment and has yet to post about Ring Weekend on social media, but we can only imagine her embarrassment.

—Squatbucks