Imperialist Taco Shop Acquires Pizza Hut

Fuego Tortilla Grill, a taco shop founded in College Station, has been steadily expanding and acquiring new territory outside of the Bryan–College Station area. Staking claims in Waco and San Marcos, Fuego is establishing itself as a taco staple among Texas college students, hoping to someday join the ranks of Torchy’s and Fuzzy’s. However, the bold move of acquiring the Pizza Hut at the intersection of Texas and University has turned the heads of competing taco shops, revolutionizing their respective marketing strategies.

“We acquired the Pizza Hut earlier this year,” said Peter Schwarz, regional manager for Fuego. “I originally thought we could convert it into a second shop, but we scratched that idea and realized it would be more useful for parking. We had sources telling us that Mad Taco was eyeing the property, so we ultimately had to stake our claim.”

The conversion of the Pizza Hut occurred almost overnight with the relatively small installation of a “Fuego: Additional Parking” sign and the fading smell of cold pizza surrounding the building. Other taco shops in the BCS area are scrambling to combat Fuego’s move, attempting to assert dominance in their respective territories. Torchy’s, within walking distance of main campus, continues to feel threatened by Fuego’s aggressive tactics.

“Our next step would be to acquire Layne’s on Texas, but upper management is worried about the community backlash,” said Torchy’s representative Liv Margo. “Texas A&M students live for those greasy Layne’s fingers and fries. We’ve made an offer to Raising Cane’s, so we’ll see how that pans out.”

Tucked away on Southwest Parkway about three miles from campus, Fuzzy’s Taco Shop has the least strategic location of the competing establishments. Far from the foot traffic of vehicle-less freshmen, Fuzzy’s has begun staking out the Chipotle on Northgate. Fuzzy’s recently converted a four-by-four foot square of grass on Chipotle’s property into a makeshift taco stand, selling tacos from 10PM-1AM, during Chipotle’s hours of closing. Chipotle has yet to retaliate, but the empowered burrito giant has the corporate man-power to overtake all of Fuzzy’s BCS territory within a matter of hours.

— Buffalo Wild Wags