Absolutely Outrageous Group of Friends Go to Whataburger Late at Night
Flying in the face of social convention, a group of absolutely outrageous friends drove to Whataburger at 2:11 a.m. early Friday morning. The five daredevils boldly pushed aside their normal eating habits to “make memories with their besties” on a trip that members of the group described as “totally insane.”
Whataburger employees were reportedly stunned to see the young customers ready to order at such a quirky and unusual time. “We’re open 24 hours, of course,” said one employee, “but we never expected that college students with unstable sleep schedules would purchase cheap, greasy food this late.”
Witness accounts reported the group loudly joking with each other throughout the ordering process. After finishing their orders and emphasizing their desire for “as much spicy ketchup as y’all have,” the free-spirited thrill-seekers practically jumped into a corner booth to continue their public display of radical individualism.
Ashleigh Conway was one of the five adventurers present. “We were all up doing homework when Jorge asked the GroupMe if we were down for a Whataburger run,” said Conway. “I hesitated, but then I remembered what my favorite high school teacher told me: carpe diem. ‘Seize the day.’” Conway and her friends decided that there was no better way to seize the day than to succumb to the influence of a corporate fast-food chain’s meticulously crafted marketing materials.
The eccentric group eventually shoved the last remnants of their salt-coated processed foodstuffs down their throats before making a fittingly noisy exit. At press time, each group member was quietly lying in their respective beds and bragging on Instagram about their exploits, before resting for more wild experiences to come.
– Hullakazoo
If you have ever attended Midnight Yell, you have unknowingly seen Hullakazoo. He marches in amongst the band wearing a Walmart army man Halloween costume whilst blasting his shrill kazoo into the midnight sky over Aggieland. You may hear his kazoo echoing down the halls of Evans library late at night, but you will never find him. Thankfully we are the only ones who could corner him and got him to join us and say some funny stuff every so often. The kazoo playing is really starting to bug us though.